EVE’S APPLE
From The Scarlet Letter to The Thorn Birds to Fleabag, the star-crossed love between women and clergymen is a well told tale. I had no intention of writing another book on the subject. Growing up Irish and Catholic, priests were plentiful and woven into the fabric of neighborhood life. More than a few were sons of the neighborhood. One was a friend of my parents and a frequent visitor to our home. Only later did I understand the whispers about “his woman.”
The pair appear as a cameo, though much fictionalized, in Candlewood. As I got to know the woman, I was sad that she and our friend couldn’t marry unless he left the priesthood—but never questioned the rule. Many priests and also sisters did leave to marry, so I assumed the couple must have had their reasons for living in the shadows. I didn’t ask. Discretion and turning a blind eye kept the status quo humming.
"The pair appear as a cameo, though much fictionalized, in Candlewood. As I got to know the woman, I was sad that she and our friend couldn’t marry unless he left the priesthood—but never questioned the rule."
More recently, the culture of secrecy and denial in the Roman Catholic Church has been shown to protect not only those who break their vows of celibacy, but also predatory priests including those who abuse minors. I am grateful for the candid insights of the late Father Donald Cozzens, a seminary rector, counselor, and respected presence in the Church who brought the plight of guilt-ridden priests and their partners into the open with his book, The Changing Face of the Priesthood (2000). He also pointed to the pitfalls in clerical culture that protected immature and deviant sexual acting out behaviors. When the abuse crisis exploded, I was as stunned as anyone, and angry about the cover-up. How could this have happened on the watch of priests, bishops, and popes I respected?
As I searched for answers, one thing became increasingly clear. Sadly, multiple sources show that the prevalence of priests involved with minors closely tracks that of men in the general population, about six percent (Plante, 1999). But inappropriate and sometimes abusive relationships with adult women and men were far more common. Based on 1,500 interviews, psychologist Richard Sipe estimated that in a system where priests are expected to be chaste, no more than half of them were leading genuine celibate lives (Sipe, 1990). The relationship between our family friend and his partner was not the exception I presumed it to be. Nor are affairs, harassment and misogyny confined to the Catholic Church. Baylor University’s long-running studies on clergy across denominations found that more than 3 percent of adult women who attend religious services at least once a month have experienced sexual misconduct, and 8 percent of churchgoers are aware of incidents in their communities of faith (Garland, D. R. and Chaves, M., 2010).
... inappropriate and sometimes abusive relationships with adult women and men were far more common. Based on 1,500 interviews, psychologist Richard Sipe estimated that in a system where priests are expected to be chaste, no more than half of them were leading genuine celibate lives."
Current focus is turning to factors that set the stage for inappropriate clergy behavior as well as efforts to both heal survivors and change a church culture that fosters coverups. The Santa Clara University Study, Beyond Bad Apples, debunks the assumption that these behaviors are the result of a few “bad apples,” instead naming social structures of sex, gender, and power as drivers in a system that “isolates clergy and sets priests above and apart.” (Rubio, J. H. and Schultz, P. J., 2022). The study is part of a wider initiative funded by Fordham University as part of the Taking Responsibility project. The National Association of Social Workers conducted a nation-wide study highlighting the experiences of women and factors related to healing in their recovery. They developed a model of resilience, and though I didn’t expect it, faith in God proved to be the most salient feature in their recovery (Pooler D. K. and Barros-Lane L., 2022).
In conclusion...
Women’s voices are a seldom heard sound in the life of the Catholic Church. For all the gains women have made in the world, we still live in a largely patriarchal society. In Candlewood, I have tried to be faithful to the experiences of women, and to give them a voice through the character of Meg. Though she is a fictional character, many readers tell me that they “know” her. I am hopeful that as we grow in awareness, and the humility to listen to each other, change for the better is possible in our communities.
